Need to, but can't.. (sleep)

Its a good time to sleep..but dun know y,
I dun know what to do and it seems super boring..
Ndak to la knp..babai

The 2nd first day

Its second semester now, n I just came back from class...
I did try, maybe not the very best....
Dah cuba pown...mungkin bkn yg terbaik. Saya kata sem ni mo azam baru, x mau ash kacau2 org. Kesian deh...dh la buat mrk Marah n Malu, saya lagi pi topup dosa..mcm la msok kubur n nyawa dicabut tu ada subsidi tambahan kn,

Tapi lain kejadiannya tadi..pagi mmg dengan semangat. Tapi ada bising2 jgk..ada gak aq gtaw kgkwn aq mo azam bru, Alhamdulillah, dorg tlg jgk igtkn..
Tadi kesian Dila..mgkn dia malu sbb aku x bgi dia attendance paper tu..aku hulur pda dia tpi bagi org lain ~ Maaf dear Dila....maaf ssgt..
Tadi masa lab chemistry pun x fokus sgt, Astaghfirullah alAdzim..harap2 jgk la still berkat.

Aku harap xda sdh main2 hati lepas ni..aku mmg x pernah couple pun..tapi sblm ni pernah wat org org perasan, at first mo kenakan org lain malangnya dia pula yg kena, so I let him with that feels n keeps my eyes on him and he got played~
Nnt sya minta maaf kat awak eh..InsyaAllah sya try nnt k, and we'll talk.

Berubah ni x begitu mudahkan..tapi saya akan cuba maafkan diri saya utk hari ni..
Kesilapan hari ni cuma permulaan..this is my 2nd first day (hari pertama utk sem 2 matrik)

Terima kasih Allah..ampunkn hamba ya Allah dan berilah kekuatan.. ^_^

Doakan sya k dunia..

Saya khalifah lemah yg sedang berusaha ke arah yg lebih baik ~
Love, nUr

I'm not done. Mom, dad,

I'm not lazy..I know I'm not. But this life seems a bit hard for me..if I didn't make it, just don't blame me.  You don't even know how I made things, how hard I tried...
Just don't blame me.. Just accept me for who I am..
I did try, and I'll try harder..I need you to be by side, comforting me when I'm feeling low..
I know your life is hard, too.
So come and save me, don't let me drowning...
I would be the best dad, I would be the best, mum.. just pray for me....

Self n alone

Seems like I have no reason to continue all these su*ks things.
But still...I have to. Still needs to have reasons to breathe, this life's just super hard for me.  And also for those like me..
I might couldn't accept the fact I'm dead,
So now I just need to move on. Until now, I need soothing words..
I feels like,,, urm..in despair..
Don't know what to do, why should I breath....its like, What for??
Thanks Allah for this life, maybe I just haven't found the rainbow.

Good girl gone bad

Fuh...
Jadi khalifah ni bkn senang rupanya. Banyaknya aku mengeluh, slalu rasa kesal ngan hidup.
Penatnya aku hidup...
Aku rasa macam xda sebab pun utk terus bernafas. Rasanya udara pun x seperti cukup utk penuhkan relung di dada..
Setiap minggu, setiap hari macam ni. X pernah xda yg x begaduh..aku slalu tertanya, kami mmg ditakdirkan hidup begini kah?? Teruknya rasa...jadi org tengah antara org2 yg dibenci.
Yg sorang nih, minta aku petik bintang. Dia tahu itu mustahil tapi tetap dia nak jugak. Dia slalu kata xpa klu x dpt...hakikatnya selalu ada 'AnGeR' dalam hatinya bila aku gagal. Dia tahu aku gagal sebab dia minta dr aku benda yg x patut, aku x layak dan mmg x mampu mo buat pun...At The END, I'm the one to blame. .
~xpa.lah.mungkin.bab.dia.pun.tak.taw.itu.salah.dia~
Sorang lagi pelik benar caranya..mo jugak aku panggil dia ni fasik, tapi aku taw dosa tuh gelar org sembarangan. Aku mo nafikan ACTIONS dia yg "konon layak dipanggil fasik" ...malangnya x leh, jelas sangat. Hal dia ni pelik benar, sebijik sebijik macam ketam suroh anak de jalan lurus. Dia suroh aku taat n yes, I did. Tapi dia xda pun nak buat 'KETAATAN' yg dia suroh aku..sakitnya ya Allah..
Sakit sggh lihat dia terusan acting mcm tu. Mak bapak pun takut ngan dia,. Aku igt kmi lahir dr rahim yg sama..tpi xleh nak ckp apa. Bluek !!! Xda kata yg blh terangkan kompleks  nya hidup ngan dia nih. Bluek !!

But life must goes on....

My reasonS

Creating this blog is not only because of passion. It should be a must for
me.
I need a Big Book, a circle, a desk, a garden, a world..occupied by me. By myself only, occupied by my empties.
This world has been too much for me. I'd create too much tears n laughters, the originals and the fake ones.